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‘Number Go Up, Equal Good


The Late Show host Stephen Colbert assumed his role as a spokesman for the Biden campaign by going to bat for his “booming” economy. “Number go up, equal good,” said the alleged comedian in reference to GDP growth.

“Oh, there’s good news, there’s more good news for Biden. The economy is cooking right along. The Dow is north of 38,000 today. Wages are up, unemployment below 4% for 23 months in a row. And today, the Commerce Department announced the economy grew at 3.3% rate in the last quarter,” Colbert said, drawing cheers from the audience.

“Now, what does that mean? Well, it’s a little technical, but according to macroeconomic theory, number go up, equal good,” he continued.

Colbert then mocked people who feel as though the economy is doing poorly, something that has been consistently measured through polling. According to the Harvard-CAPS Harris December poll, just 40 percent of all respondents approve of Biden’s handling of the economy. The numbers for handling inflation were even lower, with just 36 percent of respondents giving Biden a positive grade.

Concern over inflation and price hikes that have shown no signs of declining to pre-pandemic lows have consistently been measured as a driver of economic anxiety.

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Despite the fact that prices of energy, food, housing, and insurance remain sky-high, Colbert mocked those who do not have confidence in the economy, claiming they are experiencing a “vibe-cession.”

He then performed a bizarre musical number where he implied that Americans just don’t know how great Biden’s economy is. “You’re drowning in dough but you don’t feel it cuz it’s not yet… bread. I’m talking that sweet pumpernickel, baby,” Colbert sang over a jazz bassline. “Because I heard from a little bird that in 2023, the U.S. economy accelerated at a 2.5% annualized pace. And coal prices for personalized consumption expenditures rose just 2% in the fourth quarter. No wonder Janet’s yelling.”

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“So no need to go slow, Joe. The vibe-cession will be jazz resuscitated. And if the economy starts this cooking in November, And if the economy starts this cooking in November, we’ll make Trump a way gone daddy,” he concluded as the audience erupted into applause and cheers.

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